Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
