You're my little dorito
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm bleeding and have questions
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