Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
