I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
