dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
