Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
