I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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