I am puke
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
