I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
