ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
