good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
