she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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