We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
