you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
