Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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