Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize