Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
