Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
