What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
