my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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