my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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