so explain again why im purple
no
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
