I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
