Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
