I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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