I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
