Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He? As in you personified your dick?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I can feel your judgement through the phone
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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