uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Success! We fucked roommates!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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