he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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