question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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