I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
