can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize