Dual....:-)
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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