Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
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