i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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