my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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