After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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