He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
