there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
