My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
