I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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