Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
