I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm bleeding and have questions
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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