i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
