Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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