after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
