i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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