She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
