We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
