ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
