Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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