just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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