that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
