That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
