we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
