So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just puked most of my soul out..
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
