i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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