That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
