What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
