she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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