u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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