he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
and you fell through a lawn chair
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