i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize